


stuck together (and stuck on you)

by bucketfulloffandom



Category: No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, M/M, i miss these boys, idk what else to tag, sad things??, there will probably be a followup but not really soon, what are they
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-18 00:44:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4685792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucketfulloffandom/pseuds/bucketfulloffandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>or, "two times seokwon and yoonho were there for each other and one time they weren't"</p>
            </blockquote>





	stuck together (and stuck on you)

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: the times and details about when/how they met and all are probably really off... artistic license i guess

Their first meeting is when they're both still middle school students, young and wide-eyed and scared, still much more children than teens. Seokwon isn't entirely sure what to think of the other boy; he's got an air of hopefulness bordering on naivety, and his hair seems overgrown, getting in his eyes so he's constantly shaking his head to stop it from obstructing his vision. It's kind of cute—though, of course, Seokwon would never admit that—not to Yoonho, not to anyone.

They get to know each other better in the practice rooms, long nights and quiet afternoons, the occasional early mornings before school. Despite how young they both are, the way Yoonho dances is filled with potential even Seokwon can see, and it makes Seokwon, stiff-limbed, feel a little incompetent in comparison.

"You sing really well," Yoonho tells him one day, when they're both slumped against a wall of the practice room, where they'd been sitting in content, familiar silence for a while. This is where they go to escape the chaos of juggling school and training, slipping into an empty room and getting comfortable, exchanging quiet words every once in a while. They've started to settle closer together as time goes on, though if Yoonho notices, he doesn't say anything about it.

Seokwon starts and looks at Yoonho, blurting, "What, me?" 

Yoonho nods, his expression displaying something Seokwon doesn't believe could be envy. "Yeah, you." He lets his head fall sideways onto his shoulder and looks at Seokwon through his bangs, grinning lopsidedly. "You've got a great voice. I'm jealous."

"No way," Seokwon says. "First of all, I'm not that good. Really," he insists when Yoonho opens his mouth to protest. "I'm not. Secondly, have you seen yourself? I'm never going to be as good of a dancer as you and—god, hearing you rap—I should be the jealous one here."

Yoonho laughs. "Bullshit."

The bickering continues for a while, until finally Seokwon says, "Okay, you know what, let's just put it like this, I'm a good singer, you're a good rapper—and we're both going to try to become the best singers, best rappers, and greatest dancers. Good's not good enough."

Yoonho grins at that. "And we'll be with each other the whole way."

Seokwon extends a hand to Yoonho, smiling as well. "Always."

Yoonho takes his hand and shakes it firmly. There's a light in his eyes unlike anything Seokwon's seen before; a burning mix of ambition and passion and excitement and maybe—Seokwon might be just imagining it, but he hopes not—something like ecstasy, joy at the thought of the two of them sticking together. 

Seokwon likes the sound of that word. "Together," Yoonho says. Seokwon's heart can't help but skip a beat. He thinks he might love the sound of that word on Yoonho's tongue even more.

 

 

The practice room becomes their second home, the home they share. Yoonho grows, over the years, and Seokwon does too, of course, but he feels like he's seeing Yoonho maturing before his very eyes. His limbs getlonger and ganglier, some of the baby fat in his cheeks fades away, and—what strikes Seokwon the most—his voice drops. Suddenly Yoonho seems, to Seokwon at least, like the best rapper out of all the trainees, not that he didn't think that already, but with this change Seokwon is sure it's true.

Growing isn't an easy process, though.

There's a night when Yoonho doesn't answer Seokwon's calls, and he finds him in their practice room, dancing to a fast-paced hip-hop beat, forehead shining with sweat and clothes soaked. It's obvious he's been at it for a while, and when Seokwon steps into the room and closes the door behind him he still doesn't stop. 

"Yoonho," Seokwon says, "What the hell are you doing?" He goes over to the music player and switches it off, and only then does Yoonho stop. His chest is heaving, his eyes out of focus as he finally stands still, swaying a little. "It's way too late, why are you still here?"

"I'm trying to make this perfect," Yoonho replies breathlessly. "And I can't fucking get it."

Seokwon frowns. "Well 'this' can wait," he says, coming up next to Yoonho and touching a hand to his shoulder. "You need to go home and rest."

Yoonho doesn't respond, just staggers over to a wall and sinks to the floor, Seokwon following him down. His whole body seems to slump, and his head falls sideways onto Seokwon's shoulder, his eyes fluttering shut. Seokwon makes a scolding "tsk" sound, but lets him. One of Yoonho's hands reaches for Seokwon's. Seokwon gives it to him. 

"Don't you have an exam tomorrow?" Seokwon asks. Yoonho makes a complaining sound in the back of his throat. 

"Don't mention it," he mumbles with his eyes closed. "I don't want to think about it." 

Seokwon shakes his head, his free hand going to tousle his friend's sweat-damp hair. "You should." The thing is, Yoonho's set his mind on something else, and once he's done that, there's no stopping him, and Seokwon knows that. "Or at least... do you want to go home now?"

Yoonho's eyes blink open. Seokwon meets his gaze through his lashes and feels a swell of affection rise in his chest. Yoonho has pretty eyes, really pretty eyes, something Seokwon never really noticed until now. It's nice. 

"Yeah," Yoonho says. "I'd like to go home." He's practically half-asleep as Seokwon helps him to his feet, so Seokwon is doing most of the work just walking, but Seokwon doesn't really mind. Yoonho falls asleep on his shoulder on the bus, but all Seokwon does is shift so he's more comfortable and gently tangles his fingers in Yoonho's hair.

The edges of whatever they are are starting to blur, somewhere between friendship and something else. Seokwon doesn't do anything to stop it.

 

 

It's the most painful thing in the world, Seokwon thinks, this show, No.Mercy. It's the stupidest thing, too, he thinks as he watches Yoonho working himself to pieces in the practice rooms. He and Yoonho have been here forever—it's time they debut, without all this elimination bullshit, isn't it?

And what's even worse is the toll it's taking on them all. Seokwon's never seen Yoonho this stressed, this terrified. It's well past midnight, there are two empty beds in the dorm, and Yoonho is crying. 

Seokwon knows he is, because he can hear him in the bunk below, though he's trying to hide it; Seokwon knows what it sounds like when Yoonho tries to stifle his sobs. He's heard it before. 

Descending the ladder in the dark is never easy, but Seokwon's done it countless times. He sees Yoonho's eyes, wide and catching the faint moonlight filtering in through the blinds, Yoonho's figure, sitting up. He hears Yoonho sniff, then, "S-Seo, why are you awake?"

Seokwon sits on the edge of Yoonho's bed, ducking his head to avoid hitting it on the underside of the top bunk. His hand finds Yoonho's knee as he says, "Why are you awake? And crying, if I might add."

lf it was anyone else, Seokwon knows, Yoonho would deny that fact, but with Seokwon he just sniffles. "I'm scared, Seo. Aren't you? We could be eliminated. Everything we've done for all these years could just lead up to this." 

Seokwon moves so he's sitting with his back against the wall by the head of the bed, his thigh snug against Yoonho's, gathers him in his arms and lays his head against Yoonho's. Yoonho melts into the embrace, seeking the warmth and comfort Seokwon is offering. "We'll be alright," Seokwon says. "Whatever happens, we'll have each other. We'll be okay."

Yoonho lets out a sound Seokwon could only describe as a whimper. They shift, movement that would be awkward if it wasn't them, until they're lying down in Yoonho's bed; Yoonho curls into Seokwon like he'd die if he wasn't touching him, and Seokwon, of course, lets him. He cards his fingers through Yoonho's hair, murmuring, "We're okay. We'll be okay," incessantly until Yoonho's breathing evens out in sleep. Once he's sure he's asleep, Seokwon presses even closer to Yoonho, plants a kiss on his forehead, and closes his eyes, letting unconsciousness roll over him 

They're definitely something more than friends, now. Seokwon thinks he's glad.

 

 

For the first time, Seokwon becomes alone.

Not literally, as the other remaining trainees are very much there, very much present, but Seokwon feels everything crashing down around his ears until there's nothing and no one, as Yoonho walks through the doorway out the dorm, his suitcase in one hand and the other in his coat pocket. 

"Yoonho," Seokwon finds himself saying. Yoonho stops and turns, expression unreadable. "Yoon, I..."

"I have to go, Seokwon," Yoonho says quietly. "I'm not supposed to be here anymore." Seokwon thinks there might be anguish in his eyes, but somehow he can't tell, even though he's always been able to all but read Yoonho's thoughts.

Seokwon swallows dryly. There's no one else in the hall at the moment, no one to see, so he steps forward towards Yoonho and wraps his arms around him, burying his face in his shoulder. Yoonho doesn't move. Seokwon feels tears pricking at his eyes for what seems like the hundredth time today.

"Seo," Yoonho murmurs. "Seokwon."

"I'm sorry, I just-" Seokwon breaks off, a choked sob rising in his throat. "I'm sorry." He peels himself away from Yoonho and looks at him; finally, there's emotion in Yoonho's eyes, just when Seokwon was starting to get worried. "I'm so sorry."

Yoonho is tearing up, too, albeit silently, biting into his lower lip. Seokwon stares at him, shaking slightly, his vision blurred, for long moments, until Yoonho shifts and steps back with a mumble of "I should go."

"Keep- keep in touch," Seokwon says quickly. "Please." He's begging, grasping at the fraying and broken strings of the relationship they had wove over the years, and Yoonho knows it.

Yoonho's gaze falls. He mumbles something that might be "If you'll even have the time," then he's turning and walking away. Seokwon doesn’t try to stop him.

They were warm touches and lingering embraces, whispered reassurances and silent promises. Seokwon feels everything they had built falling apart around him, watching Yoonho’s back as he walks away. Seokwon’s ears are filled with a silent roar, his heart and his head failing to process what’s happening. Yoonho turns a corner and disappears. Their last thread snaps. 

Seokwon thinks he might be falling, and for the first time, no one is there to catch him.

**Author's Note:**

> i am not Entirely Sure why i wrote this. but it is a thing. i am burning


End file.
